As told by Bea

2009-01-31T22:34:00.001+08:00

2009-01-23T21:25:00.002+08:00

perfect way to dazzle a girl...

How come they never make these kind of movies. Even though I've watched it, it never fails to make my heart tingle. :) You know what I mean.

A Year That Was Different, 2008

2008-12-13T12:28:00.000+08:00

1.What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
-I went places to watch basket ball games. Hahaha!

-I ate a lot this year compared to other years.

-I had my hair dyed to reddish brown.

-I mostly stayed at home this year.

-and I had my first clincal patient this year.

2. Did anyone close to you die?
- No.

3. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
-A good sleep.

-A good study habit.

4. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- may 16th to 18th - baguio-pangasinan trip with the harang gang.
- august 20 - I met someone after a very long time and it occurred to me its really over.

- september 19th - Camille's Birthday Celebration, that somewhat felt like my birthday as well. :)
- september 20 - It was the longest paghahatid ever, but it was the best paghahatid ever!!!!!!

- october 29 - I met that someone again, and found out he was sick.

5. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Got rid of negative vibes, and just went on with whats ahead.

- I was more calm this year

6. What was your biggest failure?
- Whenever I can't be the best for my parents.

7. Did you suffer illness or injury?
-Hives from chicken

8. What was the best thing you bought?
- 100 peso skirt.

- Caramel Apples. :)

- My Zara jacket, best bargain ever.

- VCUT!! :)

9. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- My mom I guess.

10. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- my brother.

- people. hahaha

11. Where did most of your money go?
-to clothes.

-to dental stuff.

-Ate Lina. To think its just the start.

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Our Summer Outing.

- Pam's visit.

- Boracay trip.

- Barkada dinners

- Samantha and Bea outings.. Hahaha!

13. What song will always remind you of 2008?
- A very special love Sarah Geronimo

-Vapour Trail

- deepside/git fresh's booty music. hahahahaha.

14. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? - happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? - a little fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? - richer poorer. Hahaha!

15. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- be more patient with my parents. be a diligent student in terms of studying.

16. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- surfing the net.

17. How will you be spending Christmas?
- Batangas. :) Can't wait for our Snow-y Christmas.

18. Did you fall in love in 2008?
- I found love in a lot of ways.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
- Priviliged!!! WILL, I LOVE!! :)

- Gossip Girl

20. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
- yes

21. What was the best book you read?
- Twilight.

22. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- Vapour Trail. :) Hopefully I could sing it to someone.

23. What did you want and got?
- Peace of Mind.

24. What was your favorite film of this year?
- Sex and the City

-Twilight

- All the tagalog cheesy movies I watched!!! :D

25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- I turned 22, and I spent it sleeping most of the day and ate dinner with my family. :) It was the most boring birthday I had, but it was what I planned though.

26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- If somehow everyone in our family found peace within ourselves and just get a long with each other. If somehow I could change or do something to help someone be okay.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
- dark jeans.

- my keds white skimmers.

- my lola's ring

- sling hand bags

- white tops.

28. What kept you sane?
- my friends. :)

- food.

- ipod.

29. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- I majorly stalked KC Concepcion this year over the internet with Pam, it was crazy. But fun! HAHAHA!

30. Who did you miss?
- My high school barkada

- Zion and Crystal

- Hahahaha. Someone.

31. Who was the best new person you met?
-Hahaha. I couldn't think of someone specifically.

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
- Trust.

33. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
- Don't care how long it takes me.

Nothing's gonna break me down or clip my wings,
'cause I'll be standing tall, I'll rise above it all.
No stopping me (there's no stopping me).
There's no looking back, I finally found my pack;
And all I have to do is not forget.

If Looks Can Kill

2008-12-05T21:53:00.003+08:00

There he was standing and prepping up for something big and when he was finally about to be introduced to the crowd the emcee's voice changed it was a voice that was so familiar, and lets just say it was just the voice I wouldn't want introducing him to the crowd. So I got my things and made my way out, when suddenly he ran and asked me to stay. He wanted me to stay.

BUZZ!

Time to wake up to my dream. It makes me happy and it leaves me smiling just thinking about it. I'm writing it here so when I look back I could have something to smile about. :)

2008-12-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

I am wishing it was Christmas, maybe its the noise that I miss or the family, or the food, I don't know but suddenly I really wish it was christmas. :)

2008-11-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

you are my star, and its just going to be that way. :(

2008-10-23T20:38:00.007+08:00

Maybe it was too much, maybe it wasn't meant, maybe it wasn't written, maybe it really didn't need signs, maybe it was just for a day.

Maybe.

But what if one day, that maybe was the one that was worth the "too much", the one that was meant, the one that was written, the one that had signs but didn't really bother to notice, and what if this time it's meant to be forever.

But for now it's still, maybe.

2008-10-06T22:16:00.006+08:00

Random things:

Tomorrow's got to be the most hectic day. RESTO, I'm going to die. :(
Since school is almost ending, must settle dues.
Squeeze in a little of crush time. LOL!
I try to get as much sleep as possibly as I can, come next week sleepless night galore.
Weekend parties make me think.
Today's highlight is being late for the afternoon class has never been this good.
General Pathology is killing me.
Something stuck in my head: the things he say, cause it hits me. And the worst part is, its something true and he see's it.
Prostho reporting, written report for anesthesia. GOD!
Something to look forward to: UCC, come tuesday. Apple pie, I love you.

2008-09-24T10:29:00.000+08:00

It's been very different, different but I am very very happy. I don't really care if you say your boring, as Camille would say it we like boring people. I can't even put a straight face when your around its like smiles are all I could do, even though you say that I'm always serious. But its the total opposite. You make me define things into a different perspective. Your a good change to me, and you came in the right time. Whether this thing would be feasible or not, you made me see things into a different perspective.

Quoting Hellman

2008-06-21T07:04:00.000+08:00

Motivation for the start of the semester.

Perfection is the goal,
adequacy is the standard.
-- Milo Hellman (1873-1947)

Summer Movie Guide Part 1 c/o Yahoo.

2008-05-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

Iron Man. :) Playboy billionaire Tony Stark redefines "mid-life crisis" when his business trip to Afghanistan ends in a terrorist abduction. His , hoping to put his genius to work (and not being exactly MENSA material themselves), give him a high-tech workshop and demand that he build them a super-weapon. Of course, he builds a suit of super-armor instead and uses it to escape. Meanwhile back in the States, a nefarious plot has hatched in his absence. What's a now-virtually-indestructable guy to do but foil it?

Three Good Reasons

1 Robert Downey, Jr.'s bad-boy reputation makes him the perfect guy to play this conflicted, unlikely superhero. Downey's clean, sober, fit, and ready to save the world.
2 The classic comic's 21st-century makeover consists of more than just trading Vietnam for Afghanistan. The plot's ethical shades of gray give it more dramatic weight than you'll find in a standard funny-book adapation.
3 Not convinced yet of Iron Man's gravitas? Try counting up the stars' Academy Award nominations. The cast of this little comic book movie has earned a total of seven Oscar nods.

Bet You Didn't Know

The Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" has nothing to do with the Marvel comic, but Paul McCartney wrote a song called "Magneto and Titanium Man" that mentions two of Iron Man's nemeses (Titanium Man of course, as well as the Crimson Dynamo).

Tom has it all: a great career, women by the truckload, and Hannah, his loyal best friend. So Tom would sooner walk in front of a firing squad than down the aisle. But when Hannah goes to Scotland for six weeks, the gaping hole she leaves in his life makes him realize that she's the only woman for him. Unfortunately, Hannah's new Scottish beau Colin has already popped the question. Tom agrees to take part in the wedding as Hannah's "man of honor," while plotting to get her back to the States, Scot-free.

Three Good Reasons

1One word: McDreamy!! Grey's Anatomy addicts will be thrilled to see Patrick Dempsey (a.k.a. Dr. Derek Shepherd) working his roguish magic in a big-screen romantic comedy.
2If

you loved My Best Friend's Wedding, here's a chance to see what happens when the gender roles are reversed. Will Patrick have better luck winning over his pal than Julia did?
3The movie's climactic sequences were filmed on location in Scotland, including several scenes shot at the stunning and romantic Dunvegan castle. And yes, there will be men in kilts.

Bet You Didn't Know

Co-star Kevin McKidd's Scottish burr might sound familiar not only to fans of Trainspotting, but also to fans of Grand Theft Auto. In Vice City, he voiced Jezz Torrent of the metal band "Love Fist."

To Speed Racer, nothing says "family values" like barreling down a racetrack at face-flattening speeds. So when mega-mogul Royalton offers the young driver a corporate sponsorship, Speed turns him down. An enraged Royalton tells Speed he'll never win a race again, and he'll send ninjas after Speed to insure it. It's up to Speed, his best girl Trixie in her pink helicopter, and the enigmatic and brilliant Racer X to ensure Speed's victory in "The Crucible": the same perilous cross-country free-for-all that killed his brother. Will Speed follow in his big bro's tire tracks?

Three Good Reasons

1Larry and Andy Wachowski, the eccentric masterminds behind the Matrix trilogy, have lent their shared genius to a family film that will make kids and adults alike say, "Whoa!"
2Computer effects wizards have combined stunning real-world scenery with futuristic designs to create a candy-colored world so bright you'll still see afterimages on the way home.
3This is the film that will introduce its audience to "
Car Fu," a CGI fantasy combining stunt-driving and martial arts that will keep your adrenaline levels soaring well into the red zone.

Bet You Didn't Know

The title of the original cartoon series in Japan was "Mach GoGoGo." Why three Go's? The lead character's name was originally Mifune Go, "Go" is Japanese for the nu

Four years after the final HBO episode, Carrie and her pals are taking another bite out of the Big Apple. Despite their newly "settled" lives, they're about to find out that happy endings belong only in fairytales. Carrie is on the verge of tying the knot with her Mr. Big when disaster strikes, but we're not sure of the details, because this movie rivals Indy 4 where plot secrecy is concerned. What we do know: Carrie will take on an assistant, and Charlotte will take on a maternity wardrobe.

Three Good Reasons

1It's been too long since we've seen this quirky quartet! We've been waiting patiently for a movie ever since the credits rolled on the last episode.
2Jennifer Hudson, Oscar-winning Dreamgirls diva, joins the cast as Carrie's naive but talented new assistant (and she puts those pipes to work in the closing credits).
3Patricia Field, the costume designer who gave the ladies their signature looks for the show, is back for the movie. And she's brought her giant fabric flowers with her.

Bet You Didn't Know

Carrie Bradshaw and friends aren't the only powerful women to admire the work of Spanish shoe designer Manolo Blahnik. He was awarded the title of Commander of the British Empire by Queen Elizabeth II in 2007 for his services to Britain's fashion industry.

**Text and photos are from Yahoo.com.**

2008-04-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

xoxo. :)

Pinoy Pride

2008-04-03T06:22:00.000+08:00

If someone called me the Asian Kate Moss, I could die happy right then and there. OK, that wouldn't work considering I'm not Asian, but it did happen to Filipino Model Charo Ronquillo, who is officially dubbed the Asian Kate Moss by the modeling world.

The 20-year-old has also broken a world record; she's the first model from the Far East to win the Ford Supermodel of the World Search contest. Can this gal get any luckier? Yes, she can because she's blessed with big eyes, flawless skin, and a svelte body.

But as the story usually goes, such was not always the case. In high school, Charo was a tomboy with short hair and ugly teeth. Lucky for her (and us), she started taking care of herself and thus a model emerged. She's since worked the catwalks of New York Fashion Week and has posed for Teen Vogue and Marie Claire Paris. Oh, and here's a fun fact: Charo was one of Chloe Dao's models on Season Two of Project Runway!

*article from: Fabsugar.

Thank You. :)

2008-04-01T18:37:00.000+08:00

22. Big number, well at least for me now. Well the day was just really simple just the way I wanted it, I wasn't even excited in the first place. So anyway, I went to hear mass in the morning then I cooked my heart out. I was just so overwhelmed in cooking again, after a very long time. I cooked for my family and cousins who came. After cooking I just felt so tired and slept, mom woke me up to remind me I had to make something for the people in the Laboratory. So I made cheese pimiento sandwich, which they really enjoyed. Hahaha!!

Anyway today's highlight was all the people who greeted me. Seriously, even people whom I didn't expect to remember, remembered. So here's a rundown of people who I want to thank (parang oscars). My dad and my mom who woke up early and greeted me, drove me to church and heard mass with me. My sister who greeted me whispering cause I was sleeping and gave me strawberry lollipops which I just love. My brother who I know was still awake till god knows what time and texted me at exactly 12 even though were just a room apart. Ivan, who greeted me at exactly 12 'o clock and even made a countdown days before. Jerome, who never failed to greet me during my birthday. Jerome, saan libre ko?! hahaha! Yoy, who I never thought knew my birthday. Tina and Charles, who greeted me in every possible way (friendster, text, multiply and ym). Camz and Mary, even though I haven't had the chance to meet you guys yet you still made it special for me. Franco, the only person who I like calling me dude.. Hahaha! :) Carla, thank you so much a mere greeting thru text just made me so happy. I hope to hear more from you soon. Jesi and Jed, see you hopefully on thursday. Geli, super super miss you. Patricia Marie Llamzon, boo you had class. you missed what I cooked. Hahaha! Let's go out again. Samantha Marie, thank you soopper for the card message. We should make a pact that were not going to get old in the house filled with cats. AM, anak, thank you. daddy mo wala paring kwenta.. Hahaha! Lara and Almond, thank you super miss ko na kayong dalawa. Bruno, you and jerome think a like. Brothers talaga kayo! Hahaha! Crang, don't worry so much about school. better things are bound to happen. Rainier, ~~hoy~~. Thanks. Camille Ignacio, I super miss you. Sorry for the crappy food kwento.. hahaha! I can't wait to see you in may.Cara, SUPER Thanks for making the picture and greeting me secretly. Ernest, ginagaya lang kita nawawala pag-birthday! hahaha! Paging Gino, hahaha.. too much to drink yesterday that's why absent. Lol. Phoebe, I super miss you, thanks for the greeting. Yaya Alice, all the way from Bicol. Andie, from Bacolod, Abie from Subic (super miss you), MJ Limin from states, Pam, Caroline, Andrea, Ate Rose, Ate Becka, People in the lab. SUPER THANK YOU!

I'm super overwhelmed with all the people who greeted me. I know I missed names, but none the less I am thankful for a beautiful start of being 22.

2008-01-20T16:29:00.000+08:00

"When it comes to relationships,
maybe we're all in glass houses
and shouldn't throw stones.
Because you can never really know...

Some people are settling down,
some people are settling,
and some people refuse to settle
for anything less
than Butterflies."

--Carrie
Sex and the City

2008-01-15T01:42:00.000+08:00

i dont want you back just because.
i dont want you back just because.
its not that easy, i thought i forgot.
i didn't.
i didn't, that's the whole problem.
i wish i just would wake up and not listen to all those songs playing outside my house and pretend that you're there.
i hate what I'm feeling.
i feel stupid after all these years, after all these years.

Worst Feeling Ever

2008-01-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

As the day was starting, I got up took a bath, dragged myself going to school. (considering I was really late) As I was inside the car I grabbed him by the hand and was in the mood to listen to him, but he didn't talk, didn't sing with me and just stared at me blankly. I thought I almost died cause the normal things that I would do for him to come back wasn't working. I was so scared, I cried cause the first thing that ever came into my mind were the songs that I uploaded which I dont back up. I gave it time. But he was really turning hot as hell, I let him cool. Then I plugged it, then it the small little apple logo showed up FINALLY!! My ipod is still working.

Silly as this entry may sound, but it was one sure of a scare to start a monday. If there's just one thing that cannot happen or pile up with all the things that are going on, this cannot be one of it.

When knowing something you dont want to know.

2007-12-26T05:46:00.000+08:00

I dont know if this is right. I dont know if I couldn't care less or more. Why does knowing something affects me this much? Can I ask you back that easily, it scares me with the decision I have to make.

Cause you had me with your perfume. :)

2007-11-12T14:41:00.000+08:00

It's really my weakness or it's just coincidental that guys score more points if they really smell good, as in literally! :) Today and for the next couple of month's I will look forward to that one hour class with that boy, even though I am a loner and if have longer breaks because of that class, I really don't care now. If he looks and smells that good naman! Hahaha! Here I go again with my crushes.

Well as what Peter said, soon. Well why not!

2007-11-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

I just have to stop stressing out, just learn how to trust. As what they always say, the Lord won't put you in a situation na you cant handle it. I can do this. Bea, hold on.

JUST TRUST! :)

2007-10-14T14:49:00.000+08:00

And everytime I close my eyes
I thank the lord cause I've got you.

BABYFACE was awesome!! I was never so starstrucked in one night. The concert was just super I cant even explain it I was singing my heart out. Thanks tita for the patron ticket, I was just super kilig cause I got to see.. ANDREI FELIX!! :D

2007-10-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

You know how when you keep things a secret for a very long time. Then suddenly it'll just hit you right where it really hurts it and you'll be caught off-guard. Now its really happening, and I dont know what to do. Well I am thinking of the normal thing that I do, that is to hide and just go on to my "to-hell-with-the-world" mode. It's just annoys me and brings me so much sadness.

I wish that it would be sem-break already.

2007-10-04T01:52:00.000+08:00

I know you wouldn't be able to read this. I just know you wouldn't, I just have to let it out.

Please dont forget our homework for tomorrow, to draw the eyeball and label it. I miss you already and the truth is I'm still supposedly mad at you, but you know my weakness is that I can't. I dont want to count the times this already happen, but I know you know and probably would say that you didn't mean to do that. But it just hurts. I just want you at least ask me if I came home safe or that you would drive up here to say that you're sorry. You're messages would'nt mean anything if you dont act on it. A little consideration is all I ask, is it too much? I look so stupid now with what people know, but truth is I dont care about what they think I just feel stupid cause of what I really feel for you and its just not the type that goes away that easily.

2007-09-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more

this is the effect of watching the KC special. But it just fits it, after a year and a half of praying that things would be okay. Finally we had a chance to talk and catch up on things its something different compared to before. Its true what they say high-school friends are really love. :) I wish tuloy tuloy na to.

I missed you, more than anything. I miss our rainbow moments. I miss everything, I hope that with a fresh start things would be okay. Baby steps.

2007-09-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
Keep me hanging on
But we're not moving on
Or standing still

2007-09-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

On my way home it hit me that I fell in love with a guy who is just exactly like him. Their virtues in life, the way they decide on what to do and what not to do, their one-time-big-time-one-miss-its-over state mind that they have. EVERYTHING he was with me is you right now, it scares me.

And with everything that I have experienced/learned/known with the old guy, I should be able to know what to do with you. But the sad part of it is I don't. I still fall for the same things over and over. I am twisted, I expect less, I love more, I hurt but I dont mind it cause I am blinded.

2007-07-28T12:46:00.000+08:00

*This is an old post I just made it invisible for a while cause I questioned myself of how much of what I wrote is exactly true or what I felt was just the spur of the moment. I am reposting it again cause I have proven that it is true. Partly now..

I met someone and he makes me really happy, we act like no one is really watching, we laugh like nothing else matters, we tell secrets like we discovered the universe, we pretend like we have headphones on and we cant hear what people have to say to us or about us cause nothing really matters now. We're happy for all its worth and take note I am not yet in love I'm just happy and he is.

2007-07-12T18:58:00.000+08:00

I love the Beckams, need we say more? :)

2007-06-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

I was asked what I felt knowing about the new "thing". Seriously? I dont know, I dont know what else to feel about the whole thing. Well I am happy for that new thing, but if its one of those issues. Well I just feel sorry for them. So for now as show-biz as it may sound, I have no comment.

2007-06-21T20:03:00.000+08:00

It feels weird to be online, well for the longest time I haven't been online for the simple reason and that is school. Ever since I started class, stress came along with it that I lost weight in just a snap. It has been that stressful for me because now I am really on my own, I don't have classes with my friends and I only get to see them if I am lucky during lunch. The work load is really different now and can I just say that I can partially feel that I am slowly turning into a dentist. Hahaha! :) So what's different so far: for one I started to study-study. Before when I get home I just turn the tv or chat on the phone or internet till it's about 10 'o clock then go to sleep, and now going online seems to be a luxury that I can only get once a week cause I have to go over the days notes read them or re-write it in my notebook, study for the next days exams and memorize millions of things.

Whenever I see myself now and before I am happier now with what I can accomplish in a day, I have finally have set my priorities. Oh, my sister (Camille) decided to take up dentistry when she's in college. So yeah, we are one big dentist family now. Hahaha! :)

Blogging now will be lessened due to the new-responsible-me. Well hopefully it will last till the end of the semester. Lord knows I need it.

2007-06-09T17:56:00.001+08:00

I have been watching to much tv, that while wathcing i learned about the three-day rule wherein a guy must ignore a girl for at least three days in order for it to mean he's not interested; if it's any less than three days, he might just be tired or busy.

Its something a girl must know.

2007-06-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

how come I didn't know about that darn 3 day rule!!! :(

2007-05-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

Dear,

The other day, while I was in Power Plant and was very eager to go to the bathroom I thought I saw you. That person looked exactly like you, that it drove me nuts. I just wanted to hide and make it to the bathroom cause what I did was just the other day was just it. I wanted it to be last stupid thing to do and dont worry its the last. Part of me is thankful that I finally told you, after all these years but I didnt want it that way, much more I didn't want you to know.

wala lang. i mean it.

♥ lotz,
Bea

2007-05-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

somethings are better left unspoken, even if you are in the influence of alcohol.

shoot me, I texted something to someone that should not be spoken or told what's worst is I'm drunk but I knew what I was doing.

wala lang, wala lang, wala lang. stupid.

2007-05-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

Finally, elections is over. And I am happy to say that my tita won for the third time as the congresswoman of the third district, I guess the third times a charm (makes me wonder! hahaha). So since its finally over, my family is once again complete I get to see my cousins as much as I want and I get to laugh my ass off with them. For fourty five days it was like we never existed and weekends would be such a bore, but now its starting to come back.

So many things to write about, but I cant seem to get it straight, so this is all for now. I'll post as soon as I have the courage and the conviction that what I am feeling is true. I'm so confused.

2007-05-14T17:22:00.000+08:00

You are fine
You are sweet
But I'm still a bit naive with my heart
When you're close I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak
I feel sparks
But I dont want to be into you.

It was just a four minute call, yet it was just like one. It was just one pathetic text asking for a number yet I was just happy. It's the simple things that he does that makes me so very happy, yet i know what I am doing is wrong, but why do I keep on doing it? It's probably the thrill that makes me excited. It may seem that its a never ending process for me that sometime's I'm ashamed to even tell/share others, that's why I keep it all to myself. The fact is he just makes me really happy and it's not like I'm falling for him all over again. I'm not into the whole picture yet, seriously.

Oh-la-la I just cant get over the fact that we talked for four minutes. Hahaha. Summer flings talaga..

2007-05-09T20:18:00.000+08:00

If you had one great love I mean the real great love. Are you entitled to another? Or is it just it?

2007-04-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

If I could escape and re-create a place as my own world

I would fill a room in my house with shoes, just like these..

then I'd feast over these..

Now wouldn't it be sweet! :)

2007-04-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

Stereotype
2 : something conforming to a fixed or general pattern; especially : a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment.

are you one of them?

2007-04-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

So the other day my heart broke after a very long time. And no it wasnt about a boy it was about my mom and what she told me. Flashback with what happened, we just got home from batangas and you know how cranky you get when you just came home from a very tiring trip. So I felt like that and as soon as I got down I went straight to my room changed my clothes and went to bed thinking that bathroom would still be full but of course I wouldn't forget to wash my face and brush my teeth. Then here comes my mom blazzing to my room and telling me to brush my teeth and wash my face and I said yeah and just stared at her. Apparently my stare was just so harmful for her it set her one fire and just did the talking, so I wasn't minding what she was saying when suddenly she told me. Kaya walang kang magiging boyfriend kasi ganyan ka, ugali mo! OH MY GOD!!! Hindi ko kinaya I went to my room and locked it, I cried for the longest time, it was one of those cries na its painful at the same time.

Mom really didnt know the reason, but it hurt me cause not that i'm bragging or anything cause what I would tell carla and carla would tell me also. Kung gusto lang naman natin, meron na tayong boyfriend eh. Well my point is, ever since I broke up with Rain I just had made it a point to make things right meaning. I took Rain's reason why we broke up and made it a point to fix it for years I tried to and as I may say it took me quite a while but it somehow is better than before, but I realized that the reason wouldn't really be fixed but it was just a matter of balancing and for me, now I cant do it still. So that's the reason why I dont have a significant other yet. So seriously, the blame is not me. It's me prioritizing them and trying to balance life with them, the toll of losing friends and a boyfriend due to this is getting higher I just dont know what to do. But I'm thankful day-to-day as I get by.

I wish someone would sing to me, it helps me get by.

2007-04-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

Remembering high-school crushes. :)

I am loving an OPM song its by Silent Sanctuary -- Ikaw Lamang, so I looked for the music video on youtube.com and as I was watching I noticed a familiar face. Then after watching I read the credits on the page and a name surprised and caused me to watch it all over again. The name read Gino Jose, so who is/was Gino Jose? Well he just so far did the cutest butt spell ever that every girl who I know that was there during the interaction remembered it. Plus almost everyone had a crush on him during high-school.

2007-04-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

It was just like being placed inside the pressure pot..

It wasn't that bad as I thought it would be, but being 21 is just big. Well I thank god that I'm now off the pressure pot of what seemed to be forever yesterday. Well I never wanted my birthday to come, for days I never really wanted it for reasons I seriously dont know why. When midnight striked I slept half-way just so to miss anticipating of who would text first but as I woke up the people who texted were some of the least expected people who I thought would even remember, then as I woke up I dreaded it more, because it was the time my parents would greet me. Since the incident between my dad I really didnt want to see him cause it would be really something plastic of me to hug him as he greeted me. But I had to get it over and done with. As the day passed we had lunch in tagaytay at Botique (by the way it was just beautiful, I really recommend it) along with my family and some close family friends and as the day passed the pressure was starting to die down. And I was just going with it, but as the day was starting to end the pressure was on again. I tried so hard to sleep but I cant so I exhausted myself with non-sense things until I dozed off and as I woke up this morning it felt like, FINALLY it's over!

Thanks to my family (Reyes', Librojo's, Hernandez's): You guys made it great even if its campaign you guys took time. And I love you for that.

To the fernandez family and tita chupsie:
I thank you guys for being there for every occasion (literally) of our family. :)

Belli and Ming: I love you for getting me yellow-green flips, which I was dying to have. Thank you for being younger than me cause you make me be a kid when I'm with you, I dont need to be a grown up, I dont need to be proper always. I love you both.

To My forever! hahaha! :)
Your the least person who I expected who could compensate, what seemed missing or what I was looking for for my birthday. Thank you for for seemingly being present, I'm just so glad. I cant text you this, but for the past few years you were the only one missing but as the years passed I didnt seem to care, but this year you made a big come back or at least trying. Just dont do this just because cause I seemed to have waited forever.

And to my biggest disappointment:
I knew it all along, I had it all figured out but why is it when it comes to you I end up expecting. I just wished you never acted really excited over it and never have promised something I knew you wouldn't do. Well you really make things impossible anyway. Cause you know you got me.

2007-03-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

Today as we were stolling down the mall I was thinking of our scenario in the stairs of him blocking my way just so he could greet me a happy birthday and me thinking that it would probably be the last time that I would see him for this school year and its going to be 2 months before I'll see him again. The suddenly one of my friends blurted out sila ano oh! so I looked sideways and there he was smiling. I dont what it is that makes my heart just stop whenever I see him worst if I see him smile. I was trying to ignore all the signs and just think that its just all normal, but how can it be whenever were in the same area we'd be caught off guard looking at each other. Plus the, environment that were going to have next semester would just be too small for the two of to be in. It's a bad thing for me, for the apparent reason that for 3 weeks now I stopped everything (texting, chatting, talking) and I've been okay with it and now its slowly coming back. TAMA NA! I've been like this about him for 2 years now and seriously its not love anymore, its something I just got used to do over and over and just when I had the courage to put an end to it eto nanaman! What's worst is my birthday is coming soon and he's leaving, the thing is the feeling that I am feeling now is the feeling that I had when Rain left for the states and it was my birthday also. It's the feeling that I dont want to have and was just too painful, but why now and why this feeling?

Can't my birthday be any happier for a change? There's too much eveything involving him.

2007-03-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Do I Grow up or stay in Neverland?

I was just shocked the other day as my friend broke the news to me. I was happy, but it hit me: things are going to be different now. Way to different. I know that were adults and we should handle these kind of things as adult as we seem to be, but I wasn't treated like that by my friend. I was used to being the little sister, the one who is always looked after, the one who would make a way to bring me home, the one who I can comfortably tell about the forbidden guy without shame or anything. I'll miss him, though I know he's just around I'll miss him still. But I am more happy than sad. :)

Sunday masses for me are just a time for me to pray to the lord about my frustrations in life and what I want to achieve in my life and ask for guidance and allot of help. But as I knelt down this morning in church I didnt ask for anything nor did I ask anything regarding my love life, it was if I forgot the feeling. Me and my friend were talking yesterday of how long it had been since we had boyfriends and we just laughed at the thought that it has been that long that we might have fogotten how it is to have one. If were going to do the right thing. Someday I know i'll be singing:

I'll never find, no I'll never find
Another way to say, yeah
I love you more each day, yeah

hahahaha! ang cheesy, pero bakit ba? :)

Its funny how friendships are formed, it's really the unexpected friends that you have a real bond with and knowing that its something thats going to last, probably longer than I'll think.

Tomorrow first day of Finals, I'll go to school early. Hear mass, study, have my exam, then cram for the next exam.. OA! Letch!! Matagal ba talaga ang buhay dent? inip na inip na ako!!!!

Ay, one week nalang birthday ko na. Hindi ako excited, I dont have plans in fact my dad is the one who is doing all the planning with regards to the day itself. It's really weird I'm a birthday person, the one who is usually really excited when someone is celebrating their birthday and my birthday as well. But now its different, I don't look forward to it, I dont dance and shout to the tune of Come On Over and yell on top of my lungs that its going to be my birthday. 21, its a big thing but its not as big when I was 20, 7, 16.

2007-03-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?

No I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
These precious words keeps me hangin' on
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
But It's a game of give and take

Currently Listening To: Can't Hurry Love - Supremes

Finals week this week and next week. Goodluck to all of us!! :)

2007-03-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

In Praise of The Sun...

It's nice that you get to meet someone whom you can just see yourself with almost at every aspect of my life. It's just nice that my rantings are just the same as hers and that our stories are just somewhat written just the same! :) I find myself laughing while giving her tips on how to deal with things, but when it comes to myself I couldnt do it. Oh well.

It's been exactly 10 days, I probably have been so busy with things that I stopped thinking about him. I realized that in a week before he consumes much of my thinking that's why I dont get things done. And for the past 10 days I have accomplished allot and managed as well not to think about him. Well its a milestone for me as what I told my friend a while ago. :)

Can you imagine me getting a dog? We got to take care of a dog today and seriously, I am considering of getting one. Actually I asked that as one of my parents options in what to give me in my birthday. I thought that it could divert much attention from things that distract me, and with the dog I could just baby him. Hahaha! My mom just made fun at me when I told her the reason why I wanted to have a dog, but it was a good thing ren daw as well. I just dont like the idea that I should give him a bath everyday, but my yaya told me that she can take care of the cleaning.. Hahaha! :)

Since summer is starting I am planning to:

Get dark! :)
Learn how to play a musical instrument.
Learn how to drive in manual transmission.
Ignore campaign.
Get a summer job.
Go to at least 3 beach's

Let's see by the end of the summer how much I could accomplish and if I could accomplish more. :) I love you summer.♥

2007-02-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

so there I was sitting while trying to digest the words that my teacher was saying, when all of a sudden there he was popping out of nowhere. So what I did was placed my hand in such a way that I would be focused on the blackboard. As funny as it may sound it was just a very hard thing for me to do and while i was just doing it my heart was just pounding and do you know the feeling you when something is just not right? ~~thats what I got~~.

2007-02-25T00:40:00.000+08:00

My dad is becoming sweet. And it really was sweet thing he did for my mom. We went to Serendra just now and my mom didn't join us cause she was just tired and was expecting visitors as well. So off we went we ate dinner and had desset in Krispy Kreme. Dad ordered me to buy a dozen of donuts cause he said Mom would love it. Point one for my dad. As we were walking around, Tita Vicky needed flowers for their house so we walked going to Market Market and bought flowers. While buying dad secretly bought one long stem of rose. When we got home he brought the flower and box of donuts to my mom! Mom was really kilig I could tell, everyone was happy really happy! :) New begginings are really nice! :)

2007-02-23T17:28:00.000+08:00

Conversation regarding the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which we really look forward every year.

Camille (my sister): Ate, are we lezzie's cause we watch this?
Me: Of course not.
Camille: They're so hot kasi eh.
Me: I, agree and were definitely were not lezzies.

Hot boy + Hot Girls = Victoria's Secret Fashion Show! I love it!

2007-02-19T20:30:00.000+08:00

Let's feast our eyes! :)

Fall 2007.

Monique Lhuillier

Zac Posen

Micheal Kors - the mix of gray to a minimal bright color was just elegant. :) And thin belts are just a staple in this collection.

Erin Fetherston - the theme of her collection was stars! :) given that as her theme it was just ethereal. :)

Malandrino

Marc Jacobs

And what just wow-ed me was Armani Prive - it was just his best ever.

2007-02-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

My favorite valentine story.

Once upon a time, there was a rabbit and a squirrel. They loved each other very much. One day the rabbit asked the squirrel to her high-school dance and the rabbit said yes. The day of dance finally came, they were dressed in they were having a really nice time. As the night grew deeper, things were changing the squirrel was acting really weird which was making the rabbit really nervous. Then in was past 10 'o clock, the squirrel summed his courage and said as he held the rabbit really close "will you be my girlfriend?" the rabbit was in shock and asked if it was true and wasn't a joke, then she sensed that the rabbit was sincere then she answered yes. The rabbit was just in shock of what just happened that she wanted to tell all of her friends. But the squirrel just wanted to hold her close. The rabbit was never that happy in her whole life, till now.

Happy Valentine's Guys!

2007-02-07T15:27:00.000+08:00

dear,

for the longest time, i never thought that in the end the blame would be all in me. All this time that you are minding your business and never thought about it, its still my fault. Why blame me of all the things that is happening to your life? Seriously, who left who? I caused you pain? SERIOUSLY?! If i'm the one who caused you pain, why is it I am the one who's suffering. All this time. You made it clear to me that you are having a really grand time, and i went on my way. But now you tell everyone that its all my fault? How dare you? I hate you for pointing a finger, I hate you cause you make me so mad that this is the last thing that I need in my life now.

You are the reason of my once in a while happiness but you are also the reason of most of my misery.

lots,
bea

2007-02-03T20:33:00.000+08:00

wallowing over kit-kat chunky + gilmore girls non-stop = DEPRESSING!!!!

2007-01-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

I'll end my year with a thank you, sorry and whatever.. :)

To My UE Barkada:
Thank you guy's for always, always being there for me this year. Thank you for the abundant laughter and joy that you brought and will bring to my life. Thank you for being my life support especially on days that I am at my lowest point, with you guys I know that everything would be okay you just have to smile at it. Thanks also for pointing out to me if ever I did something wrong or something is not the way its suppose to be. Sorry guys, if I flopped my grades and didnt do well last sem causing this irregularity, but still a big thanks for always making me feel as if I didnt miss anything with you guys and for me it matters allot!

To my High-school Barkada:
First of all I would like to say sorry for not being there mostly this year, there are just inevitable circumstances that is just impossible for me sometimes to meet up or even catch up with you guys. I know that sometimes it may sound that I am just making an excuse for not going or as what cheska would always say: "kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan", but its really not. Things have not been that well with me regarding my family and my studies that I really struggle to make it, but with the distance and time. It was just impossible. I hope I could make it to you guys next year or sometime really soon.

To Carla:
I know its been forever since we last talked and to tell you the truth it has been very different. I wasnt able to tell you allot of things that I know that you would understand, but I wasnt able to because i somehow kept it to myself. I know that this one of the reason and of course my always not being there for the past few months. I am really sorry for how things went, but I hope we could patch things up. I miss you.

To ....:
I know that you wouldn't be reading this but I am quite thankful cause it will make me comfortable writing it than saying it. Thank you for always being there for me and I mean always. You're the only person I know that would text me a line from the song cause you think it is beautiful and would just want to share with me cause you think I would find it beautiful as well. I thank you for this friendship and for always being there to somewhat hold things together when I seem to fall apart.

To Someone:
The other day when I saw you. It was just nerve-wrecking in the sense that I was really happy. I was happy to know that you felt really nice going back to the place where we used to spend gazillions of time just doing nothing. I thank you for letting me watch that last game of yours, I was never that proud of you. I'm sorry for sometimes pushing myself to knowing what is happening to your life, but inevitable things just happen that I would just know. And it hurts to hear from others how you are doing. Now I'm not quite that sure of what I really feel, but it was certainly that same feeling that I had when I first saw you (as cheesy as it may sound, but its true).

i wouldn't be updating for sometime now. for reasons I cant even explain, but when i feel like it i would. Labo! hahaha

2006-12-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

I have just installed haloscan here in my blog, so that it could make some sense! Hahahaha!! I didnt get what i just wrote. Hahaha! (guys, now you can comment by the end of each post! enjoy!)

Well I just watched the latest episode from one tree hill and it was really nice, just way too dramatic! oh, and did I just share with you guys that Seth and Summer in real life has broken up? It's true they did, and its really sad they are one of the hollywood couples that I really really loved. Well at least with what I heard they are still friends.

ooohhh.. and I love the new Chanel, here's a preview..

i love miu-miu, cause their theme was BLUE, RED and WHITE and satin shoes!! My christmas motiff! :)

and I love the new Elie Saab! :) It was just GOLD GOLD GOLD!! :)

So what are you going to wear this christmas?

2006-12-08T17:19:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing that i am REALLY looking forward to this chirstmas.. this would be one of them!!!! :)

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!! jude law!!! OOHHH!!

2006-12-02T19:14:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for saying those things, I said it out of rage. I really didnt mean any of it.

P.S. ~~i miss you and i love you although sometimes it just doesnt seem so.~~

ooohh.. they are one hot family!!!

2006-11-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

i always fantasized having a crush that just lives near our house. And I think its finally materializing!! :) hahaha!

and oh.. can this couple be any hotter?! I mean they make riding motorbikes really perfect and sexy! hahahaha!!

2006-11-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

Oh my GOD!!!

I just read from yahoo.com, that they are making a movie based from the one book i really love, P.S. I Love You!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I cant wait.. Haaayyy.. I hope Hilary Swank can pull the part though, I've always saw her as the million dollar baby! hahaha! Now, I want to read it again. YEY!!

2006-11-21T08:25:00.000+08:00

Sunday's with my cousins, it really feels like christmas is near. With all the get together's, lunch, dinner's and SHOPPING that we do together. It really makes me happy and I am not complaining! :)

sige mag tsimis lang! Bata pa kayo ah

wow, hindi naman kayo amazed!

korean wannabe's

take one

take two

baho

vain..

wannabe's talaga

me and kuya

start when you're young!! :) SIGE INOM!!

cause it will alway's be us 5! :) love you guys

2006-11-19T16:36:00.000+08:00

I just came home from Elk's Club in Makati to watch the Paquiao-Morales game. Well it was suppose to be a guy thing in our family, but considering I am the only girl in our age group and given that were only 5 I can be one of the boys or one of the girls. I am a little bit of both, hahahaha! :) So there we arrived there at around 8:00 to eat breakfast and can I just say it was a really good start to eat breakfast well considering that I'm not used to eat breakfast anymore. I was just so full, my mom wasn't really into the game but joined Itus cause dappy said that the buffet also served cheese, she just joined for the food! hahaha!

The environment was just intense, up to the last minute of the game. I was just so hyped as well plus hype added when two cute guys entered the room and sat beside me! hahaha!! I wasnt a fan of boxing, but it made me proud. Congrats to Manny Paquiao. God! you must be really really rich now.

2006-11-18T08:51:00.000+08:00

what do you get for a guy anyway? I'm having a hard time, when it should be easy considering I've known the guy for a very very long time. Anyway, can I just share you my dream.. Hahaha! :) I've been recently called BFF by my friend so I call him that also, but for me my dream is that it would mean boyfriend-forever! Hahahaha! I'm just kidding and its just a dream anyway.

37 big days to go and its Christmas! :)

i hope the bell field at the ateneo is already set-up..

2006-11-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

I'll give you and idea of my Christmas wardrobe!! Hahahaha! It's something blue, red and white. And very nautical-meets-80's!! :) YEY!!! I spent one whole day last weekend just shopping all by myself. I could'nt believe that shopping by yourself could be SOOOO productive. First, I had my list of what to buy so i bought them first and then after that it was just history. I ended up with 5 blouses, 3 pairs of shoes, 3 pairs of pants and a whole lot of accessories! YEY!! I'm excited for christmas!! My only problem is what to get my partner for our exchange gift, I have so many ideas and yet I haven't bought anything. BOOO!!

School is starting to shape-up for me this week, although I've never been this lonely in school. Some people start to notice that I'm losing weight, this is because I dont eat that much anymore even though my classes dont demand too much of my time. Its probably because eating wouldnt be as much fun as it was before. DARN!! :(

I can't wait till I complete my stickers for the planner. 11 more to go and I'm done!! :) Got a new hair, its really nice the only problem is I dont fix it.. too lazy.. hahaha!

2006-11-02T20:53:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, I'll make the biggest decision in my life. One that I will keep a secret for a while, a secret that would make or break things. I'm so afraid but I have to face it. I've been putting my life in pause and I hope to keep it this way for a longer time. When time comes i hope the person could read this post and hopefully they would understand. As what someone told me before even as complicated to understant what it meant... it's for the best

I'm sorry if i have to do this, its the only way that i can think of not to hurt you or burden you especially this time. I know that me not saying it now and knowing it later in the future would complicate things, but its just the only way that i can think of, its the only way and I'm really sorry.

2006-10-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

its past one, I was making this letter for someone. and never before has it been this clear though. i am going to sleep with a sore eye, crying. But heck it took me freaking three years to get it all figured out. And I'm doing it on his birthday, as a birthday gift.

My life it is complicated now and the road will be bumpy soon, not about now.
But I am owning this moment! :) Cause I'm loving it

Hello-goodbye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

here's what i just have to say.
Stop living the life of someone you wish and you die to be, cause clearly you won't! Not just because she probably has the coolest boyfriend you have to, not because she attends the it happenings, you have to as well. GOD! live a life! you always complain about your life, why not fixing it by not trying to be someone else..

2006-10-25T17:05:00.000+08:00

2006-10-23T11:07:00.000+08:00

I love the feeling of sem-break. It's as if i've never been this lazy for months that I actually missed it. Last thursday went out with Abie and went to Quiapo to buy DVD's, and oh my I enjoyed it.. My cheap thrills.. I was able to allot of DVD's (click, my super ex-girlfriend, friends season 1-10, the OC, OTH, Laguna Beach season 1-2, Joey, Will and Grace) and a whole lot more.. Hay.. I cant wait till me and Abie would go back there!!

The other day I had a flower date with a friend of mine who for a while had this gap with, and it wasn't that bad. It was everything that I wanted to have with that person, who for some overlooked. I loved how we couldn't care less getting lost in the streets of Manila, just to look for the perfect flowers. The ironic part was of all the person's who that person could choose to be with for that moment that person chose me to pick the flower for the new significant other when in the past we had our thing. Well I don't want to complain anymore its better this way and if you ask me, this is what I want to happen with me and Rain also, too bad it never did.

2006-10-14T22:25:00.000+08:00

Try the Spiral Buffet, I LOVE IT!! Its worth every peso ur going to pay, its a once in a blue moon treat for yourself! :) I cant wait for december though, when the Manila Penninsula Chocolate Buffet will start. Hay food..

Four more days of school and were finished. Well I'm excited for the break, but I dont want this semester to end though its as if I haven't had that much fun yet that having it to end is sad. I'm going to miss kat, rachelle, jerra and anna who are constantly seated at our back table. And I miss a whole lot more. I just hope we'll be able to pass our subjects this semester and see them again next sem! :)

2006-10-14T09:41:00.000+08:00

We'll be holding hands once again.
All our broken plans, I will mend.
I will hold you tight,
So you know,
It is love,
From the first,
Time I pressed my hand into yours,
Thinking, oh, is it love?

I LOVE IT!! :)

2006-10-11T21:43:00.000+08:00

I was trying out the new beta mail of yahoo and I got to fix my mail and sort them out into different folders, then I came across this letter from Minina, she wrote it a long long time ago its something really nice to read again. (i think she's the modern age margie holmes. Hahaha! Kidding!!) Well reading your mail is fun pala, makes you smile and remember things. But the sad part is missing the person. Anyway here's an excerpt.. Some parts are edited though.. hahaha!! She'll kill me if i post everything.. hahaha! :)

----
Remember always, say what you mean. If you really love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell them what they mean to you because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. Don't be like me Bea. Don't commit the same mistake I did. Everything comes if you only wait. Sometimes you think that loving someone can be such a risk, how else would you win if you don't take the chance? You don't lose by loving, Bea. You do by holding back. Love is like standing in cement. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never go without leaving your shoes behind. There are things that we never wanna let go of... people we never wanna leave behind. But always keep in mind that letting go is not the end of everything. It's the beginning of a new life. The greatest regrets in our life are the risks we did not take. If you think that someone will make you happy, go for it. Believe in yourself, follow your heart. Remember that you pass this way only once. A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believs in the promise of love, no matter how long the time and how far the distance. God never closes a door without opening a window. He always gives us something better when he takes something away. Always remember everything I wrote here. It really helps, and believe me Bea, kaya mo yan. Take care nalang and cyah around...

2006-09-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

let me take you dream shopping! :) YAY!!

2006-09-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

I've watched it for how many times but I never seem to get enough of it. It's one of those movies that's in my list. Plus the fact that Brad Pitt's there, hahaha! But I love every bit of it well, My Bestfriend's Wedding still tops my charts. :)

Like you come to the island and had a holiday. Sun didn't burn you red-red, just brown. You sleep and no mosquito eat you. But the truth is, it bound to happen if you stay long enough. So take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don't be fooled. We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us. -- Old Jamaican Woman

And oh, by the way. A movie to really look forward to.. I'm so excited!!

2006-09-08T12:41:00.000+08:00

I'm so mad at my dad for blaming me for all of his short comings. I really hate the guilt that he places on me, its not my fault that other's give me what I want when its his obligation give me those. Now its gotten me so frustrated, even my mom can't do anything cause that's how he treats my mom also. I love my dad, but sometimes he just goes ballistic! I don't blame that his favored son doesn't get anything from what other's gives me and my sister cause by far his favored son has everything, but what does he do with it. NOTHING!!

2006-09-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Belli! :)

Now you're a teenager, enjoy every moment of it..
And always know i'm just here..
love you sister!!

2006-09-02T14:01:00.000+08:00

ber months na!! :)

i'm getting excited, in just a few months it will be christmas again! :) But for now, have to focus on studying cause seriously i'm not doing that well. Anyway, I got to watch yesterday "bring it on -- All or Nothing" it was really nice, plus Rhianna was there and Pon de replay played!! Golly, i was so hyped when it played there (hahaha! even though i always listen to it now). Something to look forward to..

The Holiday
Its a story about an american woman with 'man troubles' crosses paths with a British woman from a small English village with a similar dilemma. Opening hopefully by December..

Jude Law would be so worth the wait

Step-up

2006-08-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

I want to draw something that means something to someone.

Like when you go see a really great band live for the first time

and no one is saying it but everyone's thinking it...

I want to draw that feeling, but I can't

--Payton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

It sucks feeling like this, feeling that you're secretly feeling all the joy in the world but simply can't express it. It sucks that you need to be distant and you just have to keep it that way. It sucks cause there's nothing I can do though.

2006-08-28T21:26:00.000+08:00

Friday:
Boring day, stayed at home and answered some of the laboratory excersise that is due next week.. ~~tamad, tamad, tamad~~ I entertained (or was it more of i annoyed them) the people in the laboratory by singing out loud and telling them jokes from school. Had the biggest argument also with my dad regarding my kuya's stupid phone bill which I thought would save him from being scolded only to find out I'd be the one scolded for his wrong doing.. Life..

Was suppose to watch also the last day of Sa Piling Mo, but I wasn't able to cause I had to go to the hospital and visit Migo's lola who was confined there. On our way home I was just the happiest, I found out that Brooklyn Pizza had a branch in Makati already!!! YEY!!! I just had to let my dad order one.. Went home with the biggest smile and stomach!! hahaha!

Saturday:
Went out finally with my barkada! :) I had so much fun, even if I'm baduy cause I went home early. I missed them so much it felt like its ages since I last saw them especially Carla, it was the first time after a very loooonnngg time that I got to be her (she'll get what I mean)..
From the look-a-like's of MJ and Job, sa mga accidenteng slide, sa sugpo, car's hirit and a whole lot more.. It as just fun, fun, fun.. :)

Me and Carla

complete, though micon's not in the pic but she's the one who took it (labo!)

Sunday
woke up estra early only to find out we were going to hear mass in Manaog, Pangasinan! WOW, dba? :) I slept practically for the whole duration of the trip. It took us about 4 hours to get there, heard mass at 11 ate lunch roam around till 3, went back to manila ang got here at around 7:30! Sarap! What I loved most about the trip/simba in Manaog on how solemn it was and how people are really in tune with their religion. I felt touched when I saw the area in which you light your candles and saw people praying while lighting them. And i was in awe, I realized how prayers are really needed by many, including me. But it's sad cause sometimes I forget to pray to him.

August 29..
Happy Birthday to Ernest Lolo! :) hahaha!

2006-08-25T15:32:00.000+08:00

i'll sing him this! :) LOVE'S IT!!!

2006-08-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

Though as much as I want to think things over and over. I just had to stop and give my self some credit for actually trying to understand what is happening on that puny head of that girl. I really tried and reached out but it was her who just denied everything. I'm just so pissed. And to that girl please dont send people (whom I doubt knows everything) to attack me cause seriously its just pointless.

2006-08-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

Aries horoscope for the week:

This will be an intense week in the love department, and you may not know whether you are coming or going. Who is controlling whom, really? If you are so miserable with the person you are with, then stop trying to change that person and start changing yourself. Start making decisions that will actually help lead you toward the person you want to be with. If you use all your energy to try to change something you can't change, you will drive yourself crazy. Maybe you are already there. If anyone is going to go crazy this week, it's you. There is more going on than you realize, so open your eyes and start noticing. Take note that communication is best on Wednesday night - if you could really call it communication at all. The bad news is that bad goes to worse from that point on. Now, not only do you have miscommunication, but you have a mountain of emotional baggage thrown in the mix as well. Get ready for a white water ending to an already turbulent week.

2006-08-13T15:17:00.000+08:00

i love calvin and hobbes

2006-08-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

I loved the results of my previous post, cause it really said allot. Some of the countries that are listed are some of the countries that i've visited and really loved, while some of the countries are those who i really would want to go to. Except they didn't list Japan.. The country i would really love to go and go ga-ga over their food, fashion and heritage! hahaha!! Well at least they listed Korea and Thailand, countries which I have visited and actually loved being there. The intriguing part was Orange County.. hahaha!! well I wouldn't mind living in one of their lux houses.. hahaha!!

We had our first encounter with the cadaver. It was first a scarry thing to actually get a glimpse, but I can get used to it. One thing I could'nt stand was the smell of the formaline, I swear it felt like you ate with an empty stomach and you feel like puking.. Golly wow!!

I love Cassie's song.. Me & U.. It gets me hyper, moving and dancing! hahaha!! :) I should really try dancing, cause I'm slowly loving it! hahaha!!

Camille took me with her dream shopping.. and seriously it was fun!! It was an escape from studying.. here's what we shopped..

there were some more.. but i'm tired of uploading! thanks camille!! I enjoyed it!!

2006-08-08T21:27:00.000+08:00

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Your personality type is SCOAN

You are social, moderately calm, moderately organized, accommodating, and non-intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Reno, San Diego, Cleveland, Providence, Kansas City, Greenville/Spartanburg, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Orange County, Houston, Charlotte, Columbus and these international countries/regions Kazakhstan, India, South Korea, Ukraine, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand, Romania, Russia, Norway, Switzerland, Middle East, Italy

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at CityCulture.org

2006-08-06T20:27:00.000+08:00

I'll just say I miss him. And its true what they say, nobody could replace the first. At first it was just a feeling that I really didn't like, it was a feeling that I thought was just long forgotten and that it was a relapse again. But when I thought about it I missed him not just because, but I miss the friendship.. Honestly.

The other day we performed for the Freshmen Orientation for our college. Given that I'm really not good of that of a dancer, but I tried. The feeling I got when I stepped on that stage and started dancing and the feeling of nervousness was all gone and I really enjoyed it! I super enjoyed it, that I'm thinking of taking up dancing lessons! hahahaha!! I'm pushing it I know.. Hahaha!

2006-07-30T18:28:00.000+08:00

it was a surreal feeling, a long moment of intense screaming and jumping. nothing beats the feeling of watching a good match of basketball. And of course the best feeling is,

Ateneo Won!!! :)

2006-07-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, I'm trying to compose a decent entry for my blog. And it's funny how I type everything that I feel then suddenly i would just erase it anf it would just end up like a sentence or two. For the past few day's my feelings were taken to a roller-coaster ride, the other day I was really, really happy the next thing I was just so sad and I felt really weak that the only thing I can held on to was the door knob (literally). Good thing there were my friends to save me from my weakness. It was also this weak that everything was patched up with me and Carla, and it felt really nice! I got to see her also.

Tomorrow, we'll be celebrating the one year death anniversary of my lola. It's been one year since we lost her. I could still remember the one whole week wake, there were allot of people who condoled some familiar faces, but more of them are faces whom i didn't know. Some where there for to condole and give their deepest symphaties and some were just there for free food. I was just overwhelmed by the number of people who came in that one week, from the highest ranking officer here in the country to the simplest person. My lola, even though she was just a plain house wife who mostly stayed at home to take care of her 4 children drew hundreds of people during her wake and it was an overwhelming feeling hearing all those stories of her and how she has touched the life of others which made me miss her more. But the most overwhelming thing that happened during that one week was the number of arranged flowers that were given. My lola was always fond of flowers (as in flower power talaga sya) and it was one of the few things that she loves (other than her pancit) and the flowers just kept on coming, some of them that was given that didn't last was even disposed. My tita even cried during the memorial service cause she know's that if my lola was alive she was going to be so happy if she saw that her house was filled with her flowers.

Monday, would be the start of my pre-lim's. Goodluck to all of us.

---------------

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you
I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

2006-07-22T13:56:00.000+08:00

can i just say.. i really wouldn't mind marrying this guy..

Lee dong Wook

he was really something worth watching for today on Wowowee.. haaaaayyyy!!!

2006-07-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

i think i already forgot the meaning of euphoric. It really feels weird.

2006-07-21T09:28:00.018+08:00

i made the hardest promise to a friend last night. that I just broke into tears making it. But I know it would be the last ~~i hope~~ I'll keep and do it, I will not try doing it but I'll really do it..

my minds been filled with the thought of Christmas, even camille notices it na!! hahaha!! from drawing christmas tree's to singing carols!! What the hell?! Its just July and its going to be months before its going to be the christmas season. Hahaha!

Lately i have been lag and deaf.. san ka pa.. somebody shouted Cheese burger and then i laughed at that person cause i thought she said MS. BURGER!! katabi ko lang yung tao ah.. what the hell is going on with me?!

2006-07-19T01:15:00.000+08:00

i miss..

my bestfriend..

and i'm glad we had that conversation through text. I can't wait to see her and catch up!!!

******

On the other note...
So in the mean time, you’ll be resting on my mind
For the last time, I will leave myself behind
In the evenings raise a glass and tell some lies
Make a pass, impress another girl, she’s easy on the eyes
She was easy
So was I

2006-07-14T20:32:00.000+08:00

pseudo-stratified-chuva..

It's almost a year since my lola died and allot of things are still unsettled in the family, but I'm glad that even though things are messed up the five of us are still unbreakable. I missed them not until last night where had dinner in Mall of Asia, the usual hirits, tawa were all there and I felt okay once again. While having dinner, we talked about the up coming (and i hope that i will really push through) wedding!! HAHAHA!! i'm really excited.. Can't wait to be part of the entourage.. and the happiness that it will bring that person. As what Sed said answered prayers.

I might leave for batangas tomorrow. haven't studied. missed him today. ice cream. ~~still playing in my head.~~

2006-07-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

I just dont know how the hell can I put up with it. I just dont know kung matatagalan ko pa ba yung ganung situation! I can't name, name's but its really really really irritating. Wherein you would just ask myself how the hell did i endure that person before? Make's me want to puke whenever I'd just look back with all that what happened.

~~i was even your beck and call~~

2006-07-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

I promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't be crying over the issue.. then he suddenly replied over a text message

no problem. if you feel like talking text me lang okay?

Sometimes letting it out can make a difference.

That's when I started crying. I've been holding back allot of things that, when i recieved that text I just burst into tears. Why cant life be easier sometimes, no matter how hard you really try to get over things, it will just haunt you and attack you right where you're really weak.

This is really way contradicting to my last journal entry. ~~Letche~~ kasi naman.

Today's Highlight: Over Peanut Butter and Jelly with Banana sandwhich! :) hahahaha!!

2006-07-02T11:15:00.000+08:00

I could use a fresh beginning too

All of my regrets are nothing new...

...I'm learning to breathe

I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies...

I'm starting to get back on my feet. It was hard but now is the time to stand up and face the world. I've learned that in learning things in life whether it is in the hard way or the easy way (if ever there was an easy way) to just learn how to breath.

I may have lost some along the way, but I hope I could regain them back. And its nice to know that on the way some chose to stay. :)

Cheers to life. To all the hardships, the laughters, the cries..

I'm back. From now on bankable is the word..

Currently Listening To:
Learning To Breath -- Switchfoot

2006-06-25T11:55:00.000+08:00

I just had some of the saddest news..

Dappy is leaving for work in October and wont be back for a couple of months, Minina is leaving for the states for good next year. Why is everybody leaving?

2006-06-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

"At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, that war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one."

-Peyton Sawyer,
One Tree Hill

2006-05-20T20:33:00.000+08:00

here i am so sick and yet my mom is so..

~~impossible~~

2006-05-16T21:20:00.000+08:00

it just took one game, one shot and a simple answer of..

"cant take my eyes off of you"

made it all worthwhile!! YAY!! :)

2006-05-09T17:48:00.000+08:00

i just got hurt knowing that, of all the people i least expected it from you.
i don't know how could you keep something like that to me.
~~too much of being close..~~